..and she resurfaces! After a long, long hiatus of keeping all her words scrunched up in her brain, she has a r r i v e d!
And she promises she will quit being annoying and just go back to talking in first-person like normal.
For most of my life, I have been perceived as an optimist or a little happy ball of sunshine. I always like to look on the bright side of things and take it upon myself as my full-time job to sprinkle other people’s lives with the same energy.
However, my sunshine is sometimes interrupted by quite a few thunderstorms. In non-metaphoric terms, I have cried many, many dramatic tears.
It would be the greatest lie to say that I have not had things to be grateful for. There have been many wonderful friendships, successes, and self-discoveries that I will cherish forever.
These moments of happiness have made me realize the greatest truth about pursuing the things you love. The truth is that you will inevitably get knocked down a thousand times on your journey. Feeling like you have failed, feeling lost, feeling far-away from everything, and feeling too much are all real things that you and I feel now or will experience.
The secret to fully recovering from those unhappy feelings is unknown, but I hypothesize that being a complete sobbing mess may be a very plausible solution.
I have started to be fully present in moments when I am falling apart and drowning in utter sorrow. Looking back, the pain is beautiful because I somehow found the courage to wholeheartedly feel things deeply even when they are unbearably difficult emotions. Instead of walking away from the pain, I leaned into it.
A friend showed me this excerpt from a book and she said perfectly it describes who I am sometimes– a sobbing mess, which now I have come to perceive as a beautiful sobbing mess.
If you find yourself become a sobbing mess at times, I think you are part of the beautiful-sobbing-mess club. Feeling things deeply and being bold enough to be vulnerable is a gift.
Sunny with a chance of thunderstorms are not a regular occurrence, but when it happens, it leaves behind trees feeling greener and happier after they have been rained on. In non-metaphoric terms, you are like trees, and you are g r o w i n g (:
The sun will rise again and so will you!