I have a very strange relationship with the outside world.
As I grow up, I have learned to recognize who I am as a person, what values I will fight for the justice of and what opinions I could never side with because of how hurtful they are. I have discovered that I am good at listening, and can offer some good words to a conversation if I’m given some time to think to myself. Though I internally know how I should act and talk and carry myself when in interaction with the outside world, it never pans out like I would imagine it in my head. I panic because of the unexpected turns and surprises that the outside world has in store for me. The thoughts that turn into speech bubbles are so different from what I have in my mind. Because of this discrepancy that I cannot look past, I keep things to myself. I feel defeated at times, thinking that if I always struggle with expressing myself, the world will never see me for who I really am. The reason why I call this a ‘struggle’ is that as I talk about this, I feel like an anomaly. Even though a majority of my brain is always a little anxious about the outside world, it also gets a lot of happiness from it. The people I meet, the experiences I have and just marveling at the outside world for all the amazing things it consists of like poetry, photosynthesis, planes, skyscrapers, how the sun rises every morning, how humans build bridges to travel over oceans‐all make me so happy! These things inspire me and instill a fire burning in me to do something positively impactful for the world even if it’s in the tiniest of ways. The outside world is my support system, while the inner mechanics of my brain work on building creativity, courage, and willpower.